Wedding Dress Misadventures

Those of you who know me know I love dresses, that I love pretty clothes in general. That I wear skirts and dresses to work more often than trousers and try to wear something vintage at least once a week. And that it takes me thirty minutes and a patient fiancé with a good eye for fashion to pick out an outfit everyday. When I was a little girl, much to my mother’s dismay, I refused to wear anything but white frilly dresses and would change my dress at least three times a day. I think I even insisted on wearing my white lacey Easter gloves to play in the dirt pile with my brother.  And don’t even get me started on my dress-up box…

For all these reasons I thought shopping for a wedding dress would be the best part of planning my wedding. Sooo wrong I was. I’ve been engaged for nearly a year and a half and have been actively looking for my dress since. And to no avail.

I have very strong opinions about what I do NOT want: satin, strapless and poofy. And here’s what’s readily available: satin, strapless and poofy. In the beginning of my hunt I was very specific about what I wanted, and since I have let up a bit, but, the one detail of a dress I will not let go is the sleeves. Why is it so hard to find a wedding dress with sleeves? Try googling, “wedding dress with sleeves,” and you will find either ridiculous Princess Di sleeves or modest cap sleeves fit for a Mormon getting married at Temple. Ridiculous or dull, that’s all there is.  It’s discouraging to say the least.

I am still hopeful and still looking, because I know somewhere out there wedding dresses do exist with attractive sleeves. For example, I was originally inspired by this bride:

I even bought a dress that sort of looks like the one above. With the help my wonderful bridesmaids, I found an Edwardian tea gown in a vintage dress shop in Wicker Park of Chicago. It is 100 years old, it’s white, feminine, pretty AND it has sleeves. It was even a perfect fit. The women from 1910 were a lot smaller than we are now, so sometimes it’s hard finding a hundred-year-old dress to fit my 26-inch waist. Although it fit, it needed some alterations to update it a bit.  This top rated tailor in Chicago was sort of a disappointment, after two rounds of alterations it still wasn't right, and the dress really needed to be altered once more. However, I didn’t have time to have it modified one last time, because we were moving to Albuquerque the day after I picked up my dress. So, I took it home to our boxed up apartment in Chicago, and proudly traveled with it in my backseat across the country to New Mexico. The dress is now hanging in my closet waiting to be altered one last time.

So, what’s the big deal, right? Well, in the beginning, Dickie and I were planning an informal garden wedding to be held in Grandma’s backyard and I thought that a tea length dress would be perfect for that. Since, of course, we have changed our plans and perhaps the dress would still be appropriate, but I’m no longer satisfied with it…now I need a floor length dress. This dissatisfaction with a tea-length dress is my mother’s fault, of course. Awhile back, she said something about wishing I had found a long white dress instead, and well it’s sort of stuck with me. Thanks ma. :)

My mother hasn’t had much say in this whole wedding planning process. Planning her daughter's wedding is not really her cup of tea. But, this is the one detail she seemed to feel strongly about – er, I shouldn’t say she felt strongly about it, but she at least voiced an opinion. So, as every good girl does, she listens to her mama…so I began hunting for a floor length gown.

(Don’t worry, the antique dress will not go to waste, I am wearing the Edwardian tea gown during my April City-Hall wedding. I just need something a bit more dramatic for the “real” wedding in June.)

About a month ago, I found a dress online. An ethereal and elegant looking goddess gown with layers of floaty silk chiffon. It was lovely, unique, and so me. Since the dress-maker got flawless reviews and the dress was custom made for me, with my exact measurements, I wasn’t nervous about buying something online. After placing my order I was thrilled and relieved I had finally found my dress. However, now devastated, it has arrived but it's about three sized too large and a foot too short.  Length, being the critical detail was the complete opposite of what I wanted. It looked ridiculous and I sat in my atrocious dress and cried for an hour. Not because I lost a few hundred bucks, but because I am now on the hunt once more.

I thought I would post my travesties, so that maybe you could help me in my seemingly endless search for the perfect wedding dress. Following are some photos of what I’m looking for:

Soft, flowy, sexy, feminine...

Lacey

Boho, earthy

Cap sleeves

Flutter sleeves

3/4 Length

See, sleeves don't have to be boring or silly. If you can't tell, I'm a super-frazzled-desperate-for-a-pretty-dress-bride. Please help me. I'm a dress size 2. Small bust, large toosh.